How is it that the nice guys always seem to finish last? This is a question I always have to ask myself because it happens to me all the time. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I consider myself a pretty nice guy when it comes to how I treat women. As I was out at a bar last night, I started talking to my friend's girlfriend. I wasn't talking to many girls so she said jokingly, "Look at you, the ladies are all over you." I laughed and said, "Funny...but I just don't like to bother people, it's just not how I am." She replied, "You're a nice guy, stay nice...girls like nice guys." The reason for this little story is because of the irony. Here is this girl, telling me girls nice like nice guys, but yet her boyfriend is an asshole. I've known him for awhile, he is a friend of mine, but with women he is just an asshole. So how can this girl tell me to stay nice? How can she tell me girls like nice girls? Her boyfriend is a dick...period. Why is it that women are so attracted to assholes? Back in the day I even tried being an asshole just to see if it works. But I am just not wired that way...I can't bring myself to do it. It would be like telling Dave Matthews to sing death metal music...it just doesn't happen. Is this a phase girls in their 20's go through because they are immature and like the excitement of wanting what they can't have? Or will I be stuck always trying to find a nice girl who appreciates the cute things I like to do. It seems like a never ending battle. Fate has been pretty good to me with everything else in my life. I hope it leads me to an awesome girl in the future.
-Andy
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I went through a rigorous stretch of this. Here's what I've been told: Fake it til you make it. Girls in their early 20's LOVE asshole guys, it's just the nature of the beast. Be an asshole, but only until the relationship is sealed. Then turn on the charm. This recently played out sorta well for me. Women naturally like the chase of just being with someone that they're ACCUSTOMED to being with. Such as assholes. Because after all, that's why they're single, right? Previous BF was a douchebag, and she'll attest to it until the very end (Only in some rare cases do you find out after the fact she's a psycho bitch and it winds up being HER that was the relationship problem...but that's trial/error on your part). Initially she'll be attracted to the asshole, but then you slowly back off that gas and intermix the nice guy, and she sees that you're willing to do stuff for her and take care of her, and occasionally, have "asshole tendencies" as I call them. But that'll keep the relationship fresh.
ReplyDeleteOutside of that, girls in their later 20's, if they've experienced enough, will start to look for that ONE person they want to settle with. The good part about that is if you were the nice guy before, and they're aware, there's a chance you'll be in the running when "settlin' time" comes. Just go with it for now.
~KP